Breaking Down the "Soft Girl" Lifestyle Budget

Dispelling the Myths 

You can have the peace of a soft life aesthetic without sacrificing good money habits. Experiences and products that are expensive aren't the end all be all of the soft life aesthetic. A soft lifestyle starts with the mental space, and it is completely possible to do all on your own and you could start now.

How to Determine if the Price is Right

Something can be really fulfilling without costing a lot of money. It can be something you do regularly. It could be something really mundane, too. I savor and get so giddy every time I get to Starbucks and order the same thing. A venti vanilla ice chai latte with oat milk. It's not revolutionary and it's something that I could get at any time with little to know lasting impact on my budget. Recently I got a new embroidery lap stand so I could get excited about my new hobby again. 

Instant Gratification 

A little forethought gets you out of instant gratification. I'm shifting my thought process from what would be cool to what would make me feel happiest. There's plenty of things I want that I would enjoy and make me feel cool. Thing is, the cool things will always be there. The things that make you happy, are actually more fleeting. It's what is most likely to slip your mind and take the back burner every time. 

Before You Add That to Your Cart

It takes a little pause before clicking to add to cart or holding onto something at the store. The purpose I want and need something to hold doesn't have to be profound. It needs to be intentional. I do my best to take the opportunity to get to know myself in that way. I'm taking time to disconnect guilt to everything that I spend my money on. 

Instant Gratification and Guilt

Living a soft girl life doesn't mean you have it exactly when you want it. It means you know that you deserve it. There's too much pressure in instant gratification. If can have it later, it will be there when you are ready for it. That's the beauty in living slowly, living a soft girl aesthetic.

I enjoy things more when I don't get it the moment I want it. Savoring the anticipation of getting something is fun! I'm teaching myself that I deserve to enjoy things in life even if I didn't rush them. There's so much pressure in having to have the latest and greatest in whatever right now. The things we want aren't actively running away from us. The vacations I want to take with my husband? Those places will be there when we could go. The clothes and shoes and purses? I'll find them when I need them. 

It's a complete 180 to envying those that can have things seemingly whenever they want. Of course, it was never a bitter envy. It was frilly and filled with impatience at my term. This challenge still gets me every once in a while but it's genuinely easier (with time, of course!) to flip the script to serve me. 

Getting Rid of Shopping Guilt

Now more than ever, I'm ridding myself of the guilt that comes with feeling like I don't deserve. I deserve it all, at my own pace. I'm training my patience with gratitude. Every day, I've found myself excited to jot down when life rewards me without my active knowledge. I'm training my brain to seek out things that make me feel good, and replacing unnecessary guilt with joy. 

Flipping the Script

It's going to look different for you. You're going to value different things. Embrace the exploration of investing in yourself. The amount of money is irrelevant if the experience doesn't match your value. There's no rush in having all the luxury and plush things you want in life. In fact, they're waiting for you. Indulge your patience because it's going to pay off when you can dedicate more energy to fruitful thoughts. 

Determining Product Value

Value is more than monetary. I make the choice as simple as possible. What pours into me most? How quick is the excitement likely to fade? It's been a lot of trial and error. Sometimes, I got something and the day it got delivered. I tucked it away. Only looked at it and did a happy dance. Still getting around to remembering to use it for its purpose. 

Determining Potential Joy from Shopping

The joy I found sometimes didn't even have to do with the thing I bought. More like, what that thing bought me. Like, with embroidery, it bought me a reason to be away from screens. To try and do something with my hands. There's no rush because what I actually find myself craving is the experiences. How products and outings make me feel. I'm someone who feels very intensely and I enjoy the process of being able to enjoy shopping and spending money on myself from start to finish. 

Between you and me though? It's much much harder to work on the receiving part. I talk more about it in a blog post coming up that'll be in the next roundup. Receiving money or gifts is a complex part of unlearning rigidity. I promise, the people who give from the heart want you to enjoy it. Work though that awkward feeling girl, we'll get to the other side. 

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